Which would you choose, a Porsche 991 911 GT3 or a Mercedes-Benz W204 C63 AMG Black Series? Well whatever you may think is wrong. Forget all that you think you may know about track cars and the criteria involved when picking one. To find out what the true criteria is you must click the link in blue to the right.

You all chose the wrong car...

You may all be asking how I know you all chose the wrong car. I know because I've already asked the question and pretty much everyone chose the boring, faster GT3. I will now explain why you have chosen the wrong car.

Now before I enlighten you all as to why you chose the wrong car, let's get one thing straight, you didn't all choose the wrong car, but you did all think I was nuts, and I'm here to explain why I am nuts, but not for the reasons you might be thinking. Also, I want to clarify the Porsche is not the wrong car, it is the perfect car. It is perfection on four perfectly forged wheels attached to four perfectly grippy tires. It has no equal, except it might maybe, I don't know; for the purpose of this discussion let's just assume it is perfect, because it probably is, maybe that's why you all chose it?


But if the Porsche is so perfect, then why did I choose a car that chooses to view its rear tires as the enemy and shred them every chance it gets? Why did I choose a car that does duty in other forms as a taxi? Why did I choose a car that places luxury above else (except in this case of course)?

I chose it because I don't care about any of that. I don't care that it's slower around a track than a 991 911 GT3. I don't care if it roasts its tires; it has the wrong ones on anyways. I don't care if I race a GT3 on the track and get lapped, several times, because I won't even see it; my humiliation will be obscured in a cloud of my own tire smoke. When I finally emerge from my cloud of aerosolized money though, I won't be upset that I got my ass kicked, I'll be grinning from ear to ear; and I'll grin even more when I turn around and look at the body, that outrageous DTM racer body.

The C63 AMG Black Series is like all other Black Series, it is completely and utterly ridiculous and over the top, and I love it. That's why I love all AMG's, they're so ridiculous. People say Germans don't have a sense of humor, but I think they do, and they all work at AMG. Who else would put those ridiculous fender flares on a C Class? Who else would stick a 6.2L V8 into an MPV? AMG would, and that's why when forced to choose, I'll always choose the AMG over any car. I will always choose the car that makes me smile more, even if that car is not the better car, and so should you.


You can follow the author on Twitter @HisStigness, and you can check out more of his mediocre writing on his blog: HisStigness.kinja.com