Controversial opinion stated as fact. Words words words words words.
Paragraph one trying to build solid foundation for controversial opinion. More words. Supporting words. Example of target product lameness. Evidence of competing product superiority.
Paragraph two further building case for inferiority of target product. More opinion as evidence. Another even more damning example of target product inferiority/competing product superiority; appealing to emotions using distant relatives/acquaintances/pets and some tragic event occurring in inferior target product.
Paragraph three ties all the opinions together, building a solid foundation of opinion/anecdotal evidence/BS to support initial inflammatory statement.
Intersperse with pictures showing target product in bad light. Bonus points if photos are taken out of context.