This comes up time and again here on oppo, where somebody posts something like "help me talk soandso out of minivan purgatory," and everyone for the most part agrees that minivans should be avoided like the plague, even though minivans are actually awesome.

People whose vehicular needs are best met by a minivan but can't get over themselves and whine about having to drive a minivan, are only cheating themselves out of having the best possible tool for the job of ferrying around some brats and all the associated crap that comes along with them.


Why should you listen to me? Because I drove a Miata for 4 years and endured an endless supply of comments from my friends questioning my manhood, sexual orientation, and if I wasn't actually 67 years old instead of 23. But I drove it anyway, because Miatas are awesome, and I liked my Miata.

I also spent plenty of time driving my mom's old Chrysler Town & Country. I even took it to an industrial part of Philadelphia and used it to be a blocker for illegal drag racing. In 2001. Before Fast & Furious even came out.

So I present to you, a conversation between me and a hypothetical person who doesn't want a minivan.


"This other vehicle is just as good as a minivan for carrying around my brats and their crap."

No, actually it's not. Minivans are great at what they do. They're comfy, they have super reconfigurable seating, they have all kinds of storage bins, they have eleventy billion cup holders, some even have intercoms where you can yell at your kids over the stereo to quit hitting each other, and the Honda Odyssey has a built in Shop-Vac for cleaning up after your little hellions. And yet with all this capability, minivans aren't all that huge.

We love wagons because they give the utility of an SUV but drive like a car. Minivans give the utility of an even-bigger SUV and still sorta drive like a car. What do you think handles better in the twisties: an Odyssey or a Tahoe?

"I don't want to drive a mommy mobile."

You know what makes you look like a parent? Your KIDS. It doesn't matter what vehicle they step out of with you. If the little bastards are coming along for the ride, news flash, people are going to know you have kids. What are you going to do, walk around with them and tell everyone who walks past that these aren't your kids, you're just watching them for your sister?

Sweet sunglasses bro.

"This other vehicle that's almost as good as a minivan at ferrying around my kids doesn't look like a mommy mobile."

Actually, yes, it does. Your Highlander, Pilot, Murano, Traverse, etc doesn't exactly scream "I'm young and fun and like to party and I'm running in Time Attack this weekend."

"But I only have 1.78 kids."

Don't you carpool? What are you, antisocial or something?

"I have kids and it snows where I live."

Time for an all-wheel drive minivan.

"I have kids and I need to tow a boat/trailer/something else really heavy."

Do you actually own this heavy thing you need to tow, or are you just saying that? If yes, ok fine, get that full-size truck based SUV.

But still. Minivans are awesome.