There’s nothing like a good akronym, amirite SCUBA fans? Scuba might be the best one ever, but radar (RAdio Detection And Ranging) and laser (Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation) are pretty good too.

Then we have what I’ll call forced acronyms. I work at a university that starts with a P, and their Academic Support Services office is called PASS because, although the P is unnecessary, it’s better than going to the ASS office for help with your homework. Or maybe it isn’t? Never mind that. There are two other kids of forced acronyms (at least): the kind were you cherry pick letters from the words (radar is a bit guilty of this), and far worse, the kind where you completely make up phrases to fit the word you wanted to spell.

It turns out this is actually (at least informally) called a “backronym” (or bacronym) and it can be used humorously or in jest, which is fine. Think of Found On Road Dead, Constantly Having Every Vehicle Recalled Over Lousy Engineering Techniques, Big Money Wasted, or Fix It Again Tony. But not all are intended to be funny - or even manage to be clever.

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Which brings me to the crux of my rant: There’s a health advisory poster at my work encouraging good habits regarding sickness and the workplace, e.g. don’t come to work when you’re sick, wash your hands often. The bacronym is COUGH because reasons and it drives me crazy every time I see one. I won’t bother typing them all out, just look at the picture:

I could have done better:

Coughing is a symptom of a cold, go home
Open your mouth again and you’re fired
U still here bro?
GTFO
Help me God I will drag you to your car

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But this all gave me a great idea! Two can play this game. In fact, we can all play along. I can make up a stupid bacronym for OPPO, and so can you.

Only brown diesel manual rwd wagons are coveted here
People don’t actually OWN brown diesel manual rwd wagons though
Probably everyone here actually drives a beige camry
Or not - it doesn’t matter because I’ve already finished my akronym and now I can write whatever I want.

photo credit: Jaco Bijlsma via twitter via google image search. Yeah I know it’s probably not a diesel, and certainly not a manual.

Only car-related content allowed*
Please don’t clog this place up with theme posts
People here are generally awesome
Only some remember the days of the Blackbird and the Cafe Racer

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*other content also allowed

Whachu got, oppo?