I’ve been spending all day with MetroPCS Customer Service, and...I gave up and asked for a refund.

If you don’t know what happened, yesterday I signed up for MetroPCS. I decided to go with them because they’re riding on the T-Mobile network and they were offering an attractive unlimited data plan. Plus, they were local! (There are 5 MetroPCS stores within 2 miles of me).

Well, MetroPCS sucks. Despite having a huge presence in Chicago and surrounding suburbs, they can’t manage to provide a service worth keeping. In my 22 hours with them, here’s what happened:

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- Average Internet speeds of 0.01 mbps. I called their Customer Service no less than 6 times, each call lasting in excess of 30 minutes each. I’ve played with APNs, had them change my towers, even re-registered my phone on their network...no vice.

The ONE time I got decent speeds was at 7am this morning, when I pulled 13 mbps. The call that made me call it quits was when they tried to tell me that the reason that my phone is inoperable is because my phone is not yet registered with their system and I would have to wait 3 business days. Or, here was the explanation verbatim:

“The reason your phone isn’t working is because it is not registered with our systems. We don’t know what those systems are, so just wait 3 days for your phone to work.”

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Wait, what? And that leads me to my next issue:

- Customer Service that has no idea what they’re doing when it comes to tech support. It seems none of them actually knows what the T-Mobile/MetroPCS APN is, even though they’re trying to get me to add a new one.

One of the people I talked to went so far as to tell me to turn on my wifi to speed test my cellular network connectivity...Ummm, that’s not how it works. If I turn on my wifi, it’s just going to speed test my wifi.

Someone else tried to explain to me that I should keep my VZW-SIM phone on me and my MetroPCS-SIM phone on me, because the Metro one would get the Internet and the VZW one would get the calls. Well firstly, VZW cancelled my account and nuked my phone from their network, so that phone’s receiving nothing. Let alone the fact that I had already destroyed the VZW SIM card. Secondly, even if what they said made any sort of sense, the Metro phone doesn’t have Internet, so the explanation isn’t helpful.

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All the dropped calls: A small handful of the calls I connected between today and yesterday were dropped like a bad habit. Have I missed some texts as well? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

And for my last MetroPCS complaint:

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- Guilting the customer into a good review. Look, I know their CS is outsourced, I don’t care. When it comes to CS, I don’t care who is providing the service, so long as it’s good quality. In the case of one of my calls, the person had no idea what they were doing, and at the end of the call they alluded to me being a racist if I didn’t give them a good review. This person made me promise three times that I was going to give them a good review...Woah.

Yeah...so I asked for a refund and to completely cancel my number/service. They gave me my activation fees back ($60) but apparently I have to eat the cost of the SIM card ($20) because (and I quote) “we can’t use it anymore”...well I mean, I couldn’t use it either, so...

Looks like I’m a “free agent” again. Who should I go with? I’m interested in Straight Talk, but before I pull the trigger I want some ideas.