Yea so my break down of GM last night was pretty shit on every level, so let’s just keep the tailspin going shall we?

Note: Any engine followed by a * is indicating either a next generation engine or one that does not yet exist.

Let’s just get everyone all riled up right away shall we?

Buick

You don’t fucking need two sub-luxury brands GM. Buick sales still haven’t taken off despite the mountain of money they’ve thrown at advertising for the company.

GMC

Nothing absolutely ridiculous needs to happen at GMC. Sure the engine options are pretty shit, and the Terrain probably doesn’t need to exist, but I think the rest of the lineup is in the right general area.

Acadia

  • Adjustments: Shift up-market to around a $36,000 base price, more standard features
  • Powertrain: 2.5L Turbo*, 2.8L Diesel

Yukon/Yukon XL

  • Adjustments: Shift slightly up-market to a base price of around $51,000/$54,000, ditch the 5.3L
  • Powertrain: 2.8L Diesel, 6.2L V8

Canyon

  • Adjustments: Shift up-market considerably to a base price of $26,000 (Essentially just removing the SL trim)
  • Powertrain: 2.5L Turbo, 2.8L Diesel, 3.0L TT

Sierra 1500/HD

  • Adjustments: Shift up-market to a $32,000 base price, aluminum everything
  • Powertrain: 2.8L Diesel High-Output, 3.6L Turbo, 6.2L V8, 6.2L SC V8, 6.6L Diesel

Some quick clarifications: The 2.5L I4 Turbo I’m proposing would ideally slot in at a similar output to Fords 2.7L EcoBoost V6 (So ~310 HP, 350 lb*ft), and yes I’m proposing ditching the 5.3L (An engine in which I own and actually quite enjoy, but its old and outmatched)

Cadillac

Again nothing crazy, I think Cadillac is slotting itself into a decent place in the luxury segment, especially if SUV sales continue to rise.

ATS

  • Adjustments: Almost no changes, maybe stop skimping out on some of the interior quality and give it a shift-dial.
  • Powertrain: 2.0L Turbo, 3.0L TT

CTS

  • Adjustments: Similar to the ATS, nothing crazy
  • Powertrain: 2.0L Turbo, 2.0L Turbo Hybrid, 3.6L TT

STS (XTS sounds like a sport CUV...)

  • Adjustments: Expand the engine lineup for fucks sake. If you’re going to sell it then sell it...
  • Powertrain: 2.0L Turbo, 2.0L Turbo Hybrid, 3.6L TT

ZTS (CT6)

  • Adjustments: I just think the CT6 names is fucking stupid.
  • Powertrain: 2.0L Turbo, 3.0L Turbo*, 3.6L TT

XT3

  • Adjustments: Luxury version of the Traxx, AKA something nobody asked for but fuck it. Starting price of $32,000 to compete with the X1
  • Powertrain: 2.0L Turbo, 3.0L TT

XT5

  • Adjustments: Shift slightly up-market to $41,000 base
  • Powertrain: 3.0L Turbo*, 3.6L TT

Escalade

  • Adjustments: Little to no change at all, maybe more aluminum.
  • Powertrain: 3.0L Turbo*, 6.2L V8

Chevy

Just a bit of house keeping and a couple vehicles cut out...

Sonic

  • Adjustments: Very little changes
  • Powertrain: 1.0L Turbo, 1.5L Turbo

Cruze

  • Adjustments: Add an ST competitor
  • Powertrain: 1.5L Turbo, 2.0L Turbo

Malibu

  • Adjustments: Almost none, just make it more reliable
  • Powertrain: 1.5L Turbo, 2.0L Turbo, 1.5L Turbo Hybrid

Volt

  • Adjustments: Shift to a true range extended powertrain
  • Powertrain: 1.0L Turbo RE BEV 200 HP e-motor

Bolt

  • Adjustments: No change
  • Powertrain: 200 HP e-motor

Camaro

  • Adjustments: Very little change, just some mild PT changes/upgrades
  • Powertrain: 2.0L Turbo, 3.0L Turbo*, 3.6L TT, 6.2L SC

Corvette

  • Adjustments: MID ENGINED MOTHER FUCKER! Fight me.
  • Powertrain: 3.0L TT, 3.6L TT, 6.2L SC

Traxx

  • Adjustments: Add a 2.0L Turbo “RS” option, update to the 1.5L Turbo, that’s it
  • Powertrain: 1.5L Turbo, 2.0L Turbo

Equinox

  • Adjustments: Very little
  • Powertrain: 1.5L Turbo, 2.5L Turbo*

Traverse

  • Adjustments: Maybe a slight reduction in base price to ~$27,000
  • Powertrain: 2.0L Turbo, 2.5L Turbo*

Tahoe/Suburban

  • Adjustments: Add aluminum, add turbos, subtract $ (base price down to $41,000/$44,000
  • Powertrain: 2.8L Diesel, 3.0L Turbo 

Colorado

  • Adjustments: Just PT changes, simplify the lineup.
  • Powertrain: 2.0L Turbo, 2.5L Turbo, 2.8L Diesel

Silverado

  • Adjustments: Add aluminum, add turbos
  • Powertrain: 2.8L Diesel High-Output, 3.0L Turbo, 3.6L Turbo, 6.2L V8, 6.6L Diesel

Notes:

  • Hybrid Powertrains: The 1.5L Turbo and 2.0L Turbo Hybrids would use essentially identical EV architecture and e-motors.
  • 5.3L V8: Yea I know you’re going to get pissed, but replacing it with a 3.0L Turbo makes sense. The 5.3L Gets dog-shit fuel economy, isn’t that great of a performer, and won’t be emissions compliant much longer.

So go ahead and rip that to shreds, where am I wrong Oppo?