Hey oppo, I know many people hate these posts, but I always appreciate your advice and figured id come to you and ask not so much for advice, but more of an explanation. Its something really weird to me and something I have never dealt with before. Thanks, and a Morgan for your time.
So, a bit (I promise to try and be as brief as possible but things like writing I can get carried away with so bear with me) of back story to help and maybe explain how I got in this situation. It all started last August, the first day of school. In my history class, I met this beautiful funny smart girl. And I instantly liked her and tried to make a move. But I was always too shy and didnt feel confident enough. So, long story short, another guy beat me to her, and he was a total asshole about it. Worst part is we used to be friends, but thats not really important.
** I put a TL;DR at the bottom, I noticed how carried away I got. I'd like for you to read but you don't need to.
Put simply their relationship wasnt very good. And in class, she'd always talk to me over him. One day in October she finally broke up with him. And she started talking to me more and more and walking with me and being really cool. I however wasnt paying attention to this and wasnt even thinking about a girlfriend. So after we were buddy buddy for like 1.5 months and I finally picked up on it and thought I had a chance, it was too late. She messaged me... asking about another guy who she now liked. I pretty much put myself in the friend zone. So she dated him for a few months, and we didnt talk as much anymore. She'd come to me for advice every once in a while, but that was pretty much it.
Fast forward to late April. My close friend, whos a total dork and really not the charming or romantic kind, got a girlfriend. Put simply I got very jealous. All my friends now were in a relationship. And they always posted about it or told me or showed me and I got lonely and depressed. So, I decided to start talking to her again. And I learned she was single again. And I felt I had a chance. We talked a lot, but I never realized it was really me the whole time starting the conversations. I decided to ask her out, and got rejected. And it threw me into a really dark time in my life. But I got back up and kept talking because she told me she just wasnt ready yet for another relationship and I was a great guy, so it kept some confidence in me.
Which is why I did something stupid. I know now it was dumb. But then I was depressed and lonely and wanted to be with her. So I told her how I felt. How much she meant to me, how I wanted to date her and how I liked her since the first day (Yes, I know this was super dumb). And she told me something, she already knew. She knew from the first week of school. That first guy she dated, my old friend, told her. So me playing all these games and talking to her trying to hide my feelings were pointless. Because she knew. She told me how sweet and caring I was and I was a great friend but she just wasn't ready to date. And I told myself oh well and kept talking to her anyway. But this was the lowest point of my life that year, the one that inspired all those depressed posts on Oppo earlier this year.
I came up with this idea, lets be friends. Just friends that hang out. Something I never had but have seen work on TV all the time so it must work, right? Wrong. I came up with this idea of taking her to a local Cars and coffee. Something very public, and with a ton of people. She appreciated cars, so I thought it would be a clever idea. But the show wasn't until June 7th. It was only Mid may. I decided to ask, and she said maybe but she might be gone in NY by then. So I was happy. I thought maybe I had done it; I had just gotten a friend who is a girl. I kept talking to her and being friendly. But I wanted to try something sooner. I invited her to come see a movie with my friends. Nope. I asked to come to lunch with us. No. I even tried bowling. Nope. Oh well.
We kept talking, but one thing I noticed was that even though we talked a ton outside of school, in school, nothing was said between us. We barely looked at each other. It was like what happened at night never mattered the next day. I bring this up because our talks became more and more personal. I became her friend whom comforted her. She began telling me things. Secrets and about her past. I found out details not even her friends know about her. Why she told me, I'd never know.
So, the week before the car show. I was feeling rather excited. Not only was I going to a huge show, but I'd be going with this girl who I have liked the whole year. Every day we talked I sort of mentioned it. But I got the same "If I'm not in NY then I'll go" answer. And then I started thinking that she'd cancel on me. That the night before she'd tell me she wasn't going to go. And this made me sad, but I'd still talk to her. Sure enough, she canceled. But the way she did it. That was the awful part.
Friday night, the night before the show. I was going to message her earlier asking for her address and what time to get her, but it said she was inactive for a few hours on the Facebook chat (it was how we mainly talked since neither of us had great cell reception). So I waited. Once it was 8 pm I had to. So I sent the generic "Hey" message to start talking. After 30 minutes and still no response, I was worried. So, I messaged her best friend, who I was also friend withs. We talked normally and then I asked her and told her how I was going to take her to the show… and then she told me something. "She left for New York." So, she left. Without telling me. I was never going to find out. I was crushed. Since I found out at work, I went outside and pushed a shopping cart into a tree out of anger. Luckily no one saw. Her friend felt awful for this, but I made it clear she had nothing to do with it.
Later that night, out of anger, I sent her a message. "Have fun in NY." Just left it like that. I sent it around 1 am. An hour or so later, my phone dinged. I was already talking with my friends on Xbox Live so I knew it wasn't them. And my parents were sleeping so it wasn't them. I looked at my phone, and saw it was her.
And she gave me this whole thing about how her mom took her phone and never told her about the flight and how sorry she was and she'd make it up when she got back. It didn't make sense about how her best friend found out and not me, but when I tried to ask her this, she sort of dodged the question. I was angry to say the least. And I really stopped talking to her then. It was the last straw. I moved on.
About two weeks passed, and then I get a message It was from her. She wanted to start talking again. I decided why not, saying I won't fall for her again. And we talked as friends.
A strange change happened. She was messaging me first. Unlike before, where I was the only one to start a conversation, it was now as if the roles had flipped. I never started. She'd always be messaging me. And out of anger I wouldn't respond right away or give short answers, but still she kept talking.
I was confused by this. After all the shit that happened, she wanted to forget about it and just be friends. I went with it still. Even when she talked first though, she was still always doing things. She'd be Facetiming with other guys or out with family, but she'd still write first. I got tired of this and didn't always respond.
June 17th was the last time we talked. And I was fine with this. I was tempted to write her and try and be friends, but decided not to. Then, the other night, she wrote me. After nearly two months. She decided to write first again. And she told me how much she missed me and missed talking to me and how good of friend I was. And I enjoyed talking to her again. I was going to write her today, but I realized something scrolling through our messages.
I was always getting short or one word responses. I would type out long details about things and give thought provoking questions, only to be answered with one word and an emoji.
TL;DR: I messed up with this girl I liked and stopped talking to her. But then she messaged me first. And has been for some time now. But whenever we talk, she only gives me one word answers, even though I'm giving thought out questions and answers.
So I guess my real question is this, what the hell does all this mean? She has been wanting to talk to me and message first, but when I try and talk back, all I get are one word responses.
Also, should I keep talking to her? I haven't yet after the other day when we talked and I ended the conversation out of confusion.
Thanks for your help. For sticking through, I've attached a few pictures from a recent car show.
Lastly, I don't want to sound like a dick but please don't share this post elsewhere. I really don't want to make a shitstorm.