When I buy a “12 pocket travel jacket” I expect there to be 12 pockets.

Pictured: two pockets flanking what is not a pocket.

I don’t expect that two of those pockets are pen loops. Rest assured, in fifteen years when I am too fat to still fit in this jacket, I will bring it back in tatters and request a refund and you will honor your 100% satisfaction guarantee, because I will only be 83.3% satisfied, because this jacket is missing 16.7% of its promised number of pockets.