"Oh wow, a car with more power than a Ferrari Enzo for like 1/20th the cost! Thats great, right?" LexLuthorWROOOOOOONG.jpg This is the worst thing to happen to humanity since the central periphery economic model, and here's why.

Charger Hellcat
Challenger Hellcat
(rumored)Viper Hellcat

What's the next dodge to get Hellcated? Doesn't matter, because once the reveal a 4th cat, the world will end. These aren't factory hot rods with a warranty; they are the four horsemen of the apocalypse in disguise!

Dodge partners with Fiat to form a car company name that sounds like a curse word in italian, who's high end cars are always trying to burn it's customers alive...prepubescent middle school humor and petty attempted revenge killings. If that doesn't scream 'work of the devil', what possibly could? Also this;

707 HP - 666 (EVIL DEVIL NUMBER) = 41 -> 4 - 1 = HALF LIFE 3 CONFIRMED

Only two people would dick us around about Half Life 3; Gabe Newell, and Satan, and Gabe Newell doesn't send apocalyptic horsemen to end humanity make supercharged Dodges.


Look guys. We can't let the fourth car get revealed. If it does, everything will be destroyed. The internet will fold in on itself and consume human souls. The earth will be covered in a one foot thick layer of cats and babies. Dinosaurs will fly F14s and strafe Washington D.C. Gas will rise to $5000/gallon. Jalopnik will become a hybrid only green blog. We have to do everything we can to stop FCA from revealing the fourth car. The third car is already being rumored, so we don't have any time to lose purple monkey dishwasher!