I’ve done lots of stupid shit, but not opioids. We apparently care about that now that white people have discovered it. Because you know, oh shit, it’s a problem because whitey has discovered heroin and crack, so it’s a national crisis, as NPR tells me.

My point is, you get sober in the morning, then you earn money for more booze. That’s the better addiction

I hope I have kids someday, because that’s the sort of wisdom you impart