And it's amazing! And hilarious! And horrible!

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Admittedly, we'd been drinking a bit leading up to this.

Here's the car in question. It's his 240L station wagon parked beside Herr Quattro.

Anyways, we were watching "Easier Said than Done" while talking about names for the car (he had yet to name it) and the fact that the car is Swedish and we were trying to think of famous Scandinavian racing drivers and of course Petter Solberg came up on the movie. So here's how the conversation went:

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Me: "What about Johan?"

Him: "Nah...too stereotypical."

Me: "Stefan?"

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Him: "Dude, I promise. My car is heterosexual."

Me: "Haha, ok. Um....Bjorn?"

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Him: "It's a car, bro. Not a gay dude from the Hobbit."

Me: "What? Since when is Beorn gay!?"

Him: "Um...'bear'....?"

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Me: "....fuck you, man. That's my childhood you're fucking with."

Him: "Psssh. Your childhood was fucked to begin with."

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Me: "...ok, yeah, good point. What about Sebastian?"

Him: "Again, too stereotypical. It's almost like...expected."

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Me: "Ok, well, does it have to be a specifically Swedish name?"

Him: "Eh...I guess not. As long as it's Scandinavian."

Me:"What about naming it after a Scandinavian race car driver?"

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Him: "Like who?"

Me: "Well..." *I look at the screen and see Petter Solberg being interviewed* "What about Petter Solberg? He's like one of the biggest rally legends of all time. Name it Pëtter."

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Him: "Pëtter? Like...with the umlaut and shit?"

Me: "...um...sure."

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Him: "What about the last name?"

Me: "Dude, it's a car, it doesn't need a last name."

Him: "Says the guy whose car has like 5 names!"

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Me: "Hey! Hey. It's 3 names, one honorific, and one suffix denoting generation! Get it right."

Him: "Riiiiiight."

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Me: "You're just jealous."

Him: "No I'm not. I just think my car is as equally deserving of a last name as yours is."

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Me: "Well, my car's last name is just 'Quattro', like the badge."

Him: "My badge just says Volvo."

Me: "Ok, so yeah. Use that."

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Him: "No. That would just sound stupid?"

Me: "Hey, maybe not! Try it out and see how it sounds."

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Him: "Pëtter Volvo?"

Me: "..."

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Him: "..."

*I begin to snicker uncontrollably.*

Him: "What? What is it? Why are you laughing? What's so funny?"

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Me: "VULVA!" *I laugh even harder.*

Him: "Yeah yeah, old joke is old, dude."

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Me: *Struggling to get the words out between laughing fits* "No, no! It's last name should be Vulva!"

Him: "Why?"

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Me: "Say it!"

Him: "Say what!? Vulva?"

Me: "NO! Say the first and last name!"

Him: "Petter Vulva?"

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Me: "NO! With the Swedish accent!"

Him: "Pëtter Vulva?"

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Me: "YES!"

Him: "So wha- oh...my...god..."

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Me: "PET. HER. VULVA!!" *I promptly die laughing.*


And thus, my buddy's Volvo 240 Wagon will henceforth be known as "Pëtter Vulva."