Yes, pick your jaws up off the floor. I, Sir sm70 of the house of why not, earl of Duesenberg, noted enthusiast of all things classy, tasteful, refined, elegant, and generally snobby and obnoxious, am going to bless the common folk with a personal appearance at one of their so-called "motorcar races".

Seriously though, I love a night at the dirt track. Everything is good in moderation, and that includes good old 'Murican redneck fun. For those of you who have never been to a dirt track night: get to one. If you think it's beneath you, it's not. It's an awesome experience that is a must-do for any gear head. The noise is insane, the action is constant, and there is a major accident at least once every 5 laps. Tomorrow, we will be seeing:


Stock cars (basically demo derby cars doing actual racing).

Sport compacts (Neons and Cavaliers driven mostly by local high schoolers).

and the infamous sprint cars.

Best of all, the race coordinator asked if I might run the my car as the pace car for the sport compacts and stock cars.


No he didn't I lied. What he actually said was, "Get thut ther foreign Nazi car off mah racetrack."

No he didn't I lied. But as this is going to be a dirt track in a small town in the rural midwest, would anyone like to place a wager on me having the only European car in the lot (or on how many others you think there will be)?