Well, as some of you may have noticed, I’ve been getting hyped over the possibility of a Focus ST sitting in my driveway. To be honest, while I had some limits set in place to make sure it wouldn’t hurt me, this was an emotional decision as much as it was a practical/opportunistic one. I’m happy I did it, even if it isn’t 100% a rational, easy decision.

Right, so, there’s the car situation settled. Now for the story behind why I wanted it. And to save time and arguing, the FiST as a vehicle is incredible. Buy one. Especially if you’ve only owned crappy sedans. But put 60k hard miles on one and get shafted by a dealership in another state and consistently be outclassed on equipment at driving events and, well, you start to envy the bigger brother. It might not be the best decision for others on here, but it’s my car and my money so whatever. I’m also painfully aware of the emotional side to all of this...

**emotional rant follows....very few cars here.....you’ve been warned**

See, I’m coming off of a kinda rough breakup with a girlfriend of 3 years. It happened gradually. A few months of inattention and white lies gradually became more bitter and toxic. She kept lying more and more and acting out in public in front of other people. More and more of our friends stopped hanging out with “us” because they viewed her behavior as rude (and it kinda was....). I used to always say things to them like “She’s just stressed, she didn’t mean to insult you” or having to tell people at parties I need to be close to her cause she was having an emotional night. TO her defense, an ex of hers was being investigated for emotional and sexual abuse of multiple women, including her. But that doesn’t excuse treating me, and our friends, like shit. Not when she expected that the world be given to her.

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I could go on about her. And in my original draft, I did. It was many paragraphs of personal stories and observations but, I think that’s a bit unnecessary. I’m a far from perfect person, but I shouldn’t feel bad for wanting to be treated just like everybody else. Despite my best efforts, thoughts of her/us form the good times come up when I’m in the car. Memories of road trips and fun roads. Teaching her to drive stick. It’s just......draining.

And then there was the dealership experience i had with Mitchell Selig Ford. A New London, CT dealership that broke my car in so many different ways that they completely ruined my love affair with my car. THey removed my steel brake lines and put on stock lines because my old lines were “causing issues”. This then led to them needing to “adjust my brake pedal switch” because the brake lines didn’t fix the problem. The resulting repair left me with inoperable brake lights and a cruise control that would accelerate the car when I pressed the brake. Oh, and somehow they bashed into not one, not two, but at least THREE turbo pipes that gave me massive power leaks everywhere. All of this and all I needed was new discs and pads....

I’ve been struggling with it for the past few months. I spent almost a grand in “repairs” and diagnostic fees afterwards. All dealerships I took it to and charged me 100$ said I was seeing ghosts about the lack of power. My OBD scanner said otherwise with the 5 PSI of boost. I did what I could but whoever whacked on of those pipes knocked something off way up in there. More time needed for repairs. Oh, and the rear brakes (which the dumbass shop said were perfect) are worn down too. ANd the rear brakes on a fiesta are a pain in the ass. And the AC blend door actuator is broken and knocks and that’s a pain in the ass too.....Everything is just so much time. SO many reminders every time I get into it that there’s more to do.

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It hurts to see something I used to enjoy be ruined by other people in my life. It hurts even more that one of those people was someone I loved. As much as I want to fight and reclaim it all, I’m just so tired of having to fight people on a daily basis. I know that if things weren’t working out financially, I could still drive my Fiesta and enjoy it. But I also know I would probably never love it again as much as I did in the previous years. And since this came out of the blue, I think I’ll take the Focus ST up on its offer, and get back on my feet.