Yes, Rustholes- there are worse things than a non ST or RS Focus. E61 is at the BMW dealership for some maintenance, and I picked the cheapest loaner program (Opel Rent) they had, a BMW would have cost more. Well, that’s my punishment for being a cheapskate.

Notice how these are all stock photos? Well, it’s such a bland appliance that I couldn’t be bothered to take some myself. It has a 1.2l 3 cyl petrol engine with 80hp mated to a 5MT, which is ok around town or to keep up with traffic on clogged up B roads. It’s just veeeery noisy! The noise isn’t even too bad, they managed to make the 3 cyl sound somewhat race car-ish, the constant drone is whatt gets old pretty fast.

The interiour is.... well, fuck it, who cares? I could go on and describe how the steering is too light, or how I wasn’t able to find a comfortable seating position, but no one is interested in that.

Final verdict: It’s a cheap runaround, that doesn’t try to hide that fact (the key doesn’t even have a folding blade) and is surprisingly roomy inside.

I will now answer your questions:

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Q: Mr Schmoll, you just bought that E61 two months, so what went wrong?

A: Rough idle at cold start plus CEL. CEL goes out once engine is warm and it purrs like a kitten again. Code 29D2 “misfire on cyl 6". -> New coil pack for cyl 6. I can heat up the engine before starting using the auxiliary heater, but that means parking where I can see the car through a window, so that the remote works. Easy at home, trickier at work.

Q: Why did you bring it to a BMW dealer, are you made of money?

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A: No, I am not. But you might know that I live on an island in the Baltic sea, so the number of shops to choose from is limited. Also, my indie BMW mechanic in Bavaria has just had a stroke which erased roughly 10-20 years from his hard drive. He is back in his shop right now, being trained by kind people like a rookie. We’ll see how this plays out. So I thought it might be a good idea to give the local BMW shop a rather simple task and see how they perform.

Q: Do you regret buying one of the most complication prone cars vet?

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A: Noooooooo!!! I knew what I was getting into and consider this just a minor hiccup. There is no such thing as cheap luxury, you will pay one way or another. Plus, when it runs right, it runs ooh soooooo riiiiiiiiiight. That fat fucker makes me smile every day!

Thank you for your attention!