It’s a girl problem that I’m mostly just getting off my chest, I think. Feel free to ignore if you want. MJ in its natural habitat for your time. Except kinja won't let me upload the photos...

So I have a pretty big crush on my roommate. This is not exactly ideal. Can’t just go for it, and can’t exactly distance myself from her. I expected two weeks away in August would help, but it didn’t. I’ve still been pretty good about avoiding letting on at all, which is fine. I’ll get over it eventually, and I really don’t mind being “just friends” with her. I just need to convince myself of that, ha. But I digress. The crush is only a small part of the problem, but relevant enough that I think it needs mentioning. Also need to get it off my chest.

We live in a tiny-ass resort town in the middle of nowhere. This means that most people here left in the last couple weeks. The town goes from about 5000 people to maybe 20 in the winter. She isn’t from here and pretty well all of her friends have moved away in the last couple weeks. Yesterday she told me I was one of two friends in town.

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Today, I stopped in to bug her at work because I figured she’d be bored cause there’s no one around. I came in just in time to catch her other friend breaking the news that he’d been dispatched to help out another crew two provinces away, and he wouldn’t be able to come camping with us in the next couple days. She seemed pretty put out about it, but not end-of-the-world put out.

But then when she came home I could tell she was not in a good mood at all. Not mad, just didn’t say more than two words. She went for a much longer run than usual, and spent the evening up in her room. Eventually she came down and said that right after I left she got a phone call saying she hadn’t got an awesome job she was really excited about. She was just about in tears about it. I want to do say something to comfort/cheer her up, but she’s also the kind of person who shies away from hugs and other human contact, which is really all I’m good for in situations like this. I can barely deal with my own feelings, let alone help someone else beyond hanging on and listening.

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So now I feel like a shitty friend because I really have no idea how or even if I could or should do something to cheer her up, and it makes it worse because as mentioned I’m her only friend who is physically here.

Mostly I’m just venting (that’s not the right word) because I’m feeling pretty lost and need to say something about it to retain my sanity. Is there really even anything I can do?

Her light’s still on but I’m pretty sure the moment’s gone tonight. I have to leave for work before she usually gets up, so unless I pop in at her work on my lunch break, I don’t know if I’ll see her at all until tomorrow evening, when we’re leaving for camping. And I don’t know if that’s even still going to be a go at this point.