You may as well go ahead and give Mr. Demuro his early Christmas present and hire him now. Please allow me to explain.

1) He can actually write. He's not some college Lit major trying to win a Pulitzer through the back channel off-topic forum of a gawker media site.

2) He has a metric crapton of followers. I'm not sure what the SAE equivalent is, but I'm sure it's alot.

3) He amassed more comments and views in the first 5 hours than any other post from any other person I can recall here on Jalopnik. It has to be one of those random NFL style records, like "He holds the record for obtaining the most smartass replies from college Lit majors trying to win a Pulitzer through the back channel off-topic forum of a gawker media site in the first 5.374 hours."

4) Lets be honest, you publish all of his posts to the front page anyway.

5) His most recent post has nearly 1,200 replies. He will respond to each and every one of them. That's just cool.

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6) Lastly, he has nearly 1,200 people clamoring for a year old set of Hummer branded sheets purchased from a truck stop. I'll let that sink in for a moment. Even the dude selling ice to eskimos is saying "damn."

That's all I've got.

Oh, and good morning Oppo.