UPDATE: I need to put this upfront and I need everybody to read this. I appreciate the offers but I want to be clear I have no thoughts of killing myself or harming others. Anyway, some cops came down to do a welfare check and now my mom is in extreme distress. She’s already feuding with my brother and with this it’s now made the situation worse. So please don’t do that.

I know, dramatic headline, so sue me. I just don’t fucking care anymore. I tried calling the National Suicide Prevention Hotline and my calls won’t go through, they keep getting dropped. So I have no one to talk to. Oh well, I guess literally going to Hell is my only escape.

I just wish someone or something had intervened and prevented me from being born in the first place.

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Oh, and no, I’m not going to do harm to myself or others, but I am feeling desperate now. I know people have told me I shouldn’t go to Oppo for help on everything but when I can’t even contact the specialists for these type of things where the fuck else am I supposed to go?

EDIT: a number of you have stated that I shouldn’t kill myself because it would devastate my friends and family. Well, my family is acting like a bunch of raging bitches and my so-called “friends” are mocking me for it so to be honest with you suicide would only give me further incentive to spite them.