She keeps talking about “the twins.” At first I thought maybe she had twins, but apparently they’re friends of hers. In every conversation. They just appear there, like creepy fucking twins do. “So, I went to Parc and then I ran into the twins.”

“My dog likes the twins.”

“We went to dinner with the twins.”

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“The twins do everything alike. The both ran track and went to the same medical school.”

I haven’t asked who the twins are, partially because twins creep me the fuck out. But apparently she thinks I know who the twins are, because she doesn’t shut up about the twins.

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OPPO WHO ARE THE TWINS, WHAT ARE THE TWINS, AND ARE THEY COMING TO GET ME?