Ok, ordinarily I wouldn't share that which might be viewed as a failure. But, since it is automotive related and this is a sharing site (and I couldn't come up with anything better), I thought I would tell you about my recent job rejection by Porsche Cars North America.

Mercedes Benz recently announced that they would be moving their North American headquarters from New Jersey to Atlanta. Intrigued, I decided to see if they were hiring and for what positions. One thing led to another and I found myself on Porsche's website. In perusing their job openings, I noticed this one:

As I have bragged written before, I own a 1987 Porsche 911. I also happen to have a mechanical engineering degree and an MBA with a concentration in marketing and I am a registered Professional Engineer in the state of Georgia. I also happen to have been a product manager in a previous life. I don't necessarily have merchandising or retail parts sales experience, but I do have retail pizza sales experience - practically the same thing. And, I have bought parts - classic Porsche parts, so that's got to count for something, right. Oh, and did I mention that I have a 1987 Porsche 911.

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Now, I actually happen to like, dare I say love, my current job. It really suits me well and I have been there long enough to have a little seniority. I work with good people, I don't have to travel and I don't have to worry about profit margins. And I am not just saying this in case my boss might be reading it. But, a job working for Porsche, particularly with classic Porsches - well, let's just say I could dig it.

So, I spent all weekend cleaning up my resume (Pro Tip: kids, always adjust your resume to fit the job for which you are applying) and writing a nice cover letter playing up my classic Porsche ownership experience, my PCA membership and the fact that I do all my own maintenance. I then submitted everything through PCNA's website. I even thought about writing one of those "Letters to Doug" asking for a reference figuring at the very least I could give him some fodder for one of his columns. After all, only seldomly do I take my shirt off when I am drunk.

Once everything had been tossed over the wall, the fantasies began. You know the one where I become the first American to head Porsche and then Volkswagen AG. Or the one where they tap me to lead the development effort of their newest GTLM cars. Or the one where I somehow get to drive at LeMans despite the fact that I have never driven a car in anger on a track in my entire life.

Buuuttttt, two days later, I get the following:

Dear John,

Thank you for submitting your resume to Porsche Cars North America for consideration.

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We are fortunate to have many qualified candidates apply to each of our positions. We have reviewed the qualifications of each candidate and after careful consideration, we have determined that the credentials of other candidates may better fit our needs at this time.

Please accept our best wishes and thank your for your interest in Porsche Cars North America.

Cordially,

Human Resources

Porsche Cars North America

Wow, not even the old "we will keep your resume on file" BS. Back in undergrad, we called these "flush letters". That's only because "flush email" hadn't been invented yet.

Here is the thing. I really did think I might be offered an interview. I keep rationalizing that they turned me away because I asked for too much money on the application or because I don't sprechen Deutsch or because I chose not to answer the question about my undergrad GPA. Hey, math is hard.

Though working for Porsche looked good on paper, it probably wouldn't have been a good fit. The truth is that I hate traveling, I hate being away from my family and there is a reason that I am a former product manager. I suspect that at the end of the day, it would have just been a job.

Oh, and by the way, did I mention that I have a 1987 Porsche 911.