You won’t believe number 7.

In maximum order:

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10: Volkswagen Microbus

Slow, ugly, unsafe, uncomfortable, and overpriced - some people will pay $200,000 for what is objectively one of the worst vehicles ever made. The VW Microbus is possibly the only example of vehicular gentrification in action. What used to be the vehicle of choice for penniless hippies is now the vehicle of choice for people with money to burn, and who would legally burn hippies if they could get away with it.

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9: Datsun 510

One of the most boring cars ever made, it’s even more boringer now than it ever was. When the 510 was new, it was a nice handling sedan among a sea of sedans that handled like total crap. It made its reputation on being better than terrible, which was fine when they were still cheap, common, and relatively unappreciated. But now they’re expensive, over-hyped, and played out.

8: Fiat 500

Here is another car which in most respects is objectively terrible. It’s got cuteness going for it, but practically it’s a terrible, awful, car. Compare it with similarly sized cars like the Mini, or the Subaru 360, and it’s noisier, slower, less comfortable, less space efficient, and less well made. Worse, the 500 overshadows its much nicer, better engineered, and more historically important sibling, the 600. You could have a 600, or pay more for a car that is worse in every respect, except cuteness.

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7: Split Window Corvette

The rear window is two windows. Who gives a damn.

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6: Shelby Cobra

Shelby put a big engine in a small car. That never happened before or since, amirite? It was so popular when it was new, that probably none exist. Even the ones that are real are probably fake. This is a car that became so overhyped an entire industry grew up around building fake ones. You might think that must be the most overhyped a car could possibly be, but it also means then that people are willing to settle for a fake. If having a fake is “better” than not having one at all, maximum hype levels haven’t been obtained.

5: BMW 2002

What’s that old BMW? No not the Isetta - the normal one? The only old BMW anybody remembers? Oh yeah, the 2002. If you like BMWs, and you want to like old cars, the 2002 is a BMW and it is old, and therefore it is the first and only car you will consider. Other old BMWs don’t exist. Well except the other old BMW, the one that’s too scary, the Isetta. Did BMW even make any other cars back then? Who cares? Nobody can be assed to find out.

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4: Ford Falcon Mustang

Ford took a Falcon, made it boxier, which somehow made it look sportier, but it wasn’t actually a sports car, but somehow it is THE MOST IMPORTANT CAR FORD EVER MADE. Fuck the Model T and its stupid ass “mass production” this cubist interpretation of the Falcon is the most important contribution Ford made in advancing the art of the automobile. You see they took a normal boring car, and put a stylish body on it, and that never had been done before.

Oh.

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Well they took a compact car and put a big engine it, and that never had been done before.

Oh.

Well it was popular when I was an unborn being, and therefore should be popular now and forever.

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3: Aston Martin DB5

Did you know it was used inA MOVIE in the 1960s???

2: Yugo GVL

Boxy, unreliable, small, poorly built, but often incorrectly praised as the first modern small car, the YUGO GVL is insanely over appreciated by collectors. Be prepared to shell out in excess of $30,000 for a nice one. True it is cute, it handles well, and it was a miracle of packaging in its day, but contrary to what most believe it wasn’t the first two-box design, or the first popular car with front wheel drive.

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1: Air Cooled Porsche