My work keeps me away from the interweb for long periods at a time. And it looks like I missed a few things.

New Miata's out. I like it, though they seem to have kept the whole happy face. Cept now it looks like a thoothless snake or an Asian guy that just heard a really good joke.

Joan Rivers died the way she lived. Full of plastic and bullshit.

New iPhone's out. Full of plastic and bullshit.

MB's AMG-GT looks great. It's the best looking Dodge Viper on the market right now.

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New Jag XE actually looks pretty boss. I can't wait to watch people on youtube drive it while I down a pound of Cherry Garcia and yell at the gods wondering where's my Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag.

Apparently deer from San Fran are as shitty, douchy and oblivious to its sorroundings as everyone in San Fran. Darwin wrote about that...probably. Adaptability or something. Anyway I praise Jesus.

Ironic that Ferrari would name its super exclusive look-at-all-my-cashy-money super car after what I think is the most common name in Italy. It's like calling the GT40 "Bob". Ford Bob...shit I actually like it.

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If I had the money to wrap my supercar in an internet meme, I'd go for dickbutt. Nothing pisses people off that seeing dickbutt. Matter of fact...

#yolo #deadmou5 #whythefuckdoeshehhavea"5"innsetadofan"s" #iknowthisisnthowhastagswork

Ferrari Air Jordans. Lets be honest. Michael Jordan and Ferrari are like fried cuttlefish and chocolate panty vending machines. Japan fucking loves them. Have I mentioned how much I suck at analogies? Anyway they're both whores. I'm actually surprised this didn't happen sooner.

Why are we rebooting CHiPs? This is why the terrorists hate us.

Holy shit Elon Musk is building skynet in the fucking Nevada desert. JUST LIKE IN THE MOVIES!

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Happy for Schumi. He's out of the hospital. He'll be back to being hated by every other driver in no time :D.

I think that's it! Time for me to go back to my hole. baiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii