So Tuesday should be the end of a roughly twenty year battle with intense hip pain as I’ll be getting one hip replaced. And while I’ve been through many surgeries in my life, I’m very nervous about this one. Not scared, thankfully, but damn nervous.

Like I said, I’ve been through many surgeries in my life, mostly quick, but still numerous, and many when I was young so I only remember one when I was young (but damn it’s not a fun memory), and three in the last ten years or so. The surgeries I had as a teenager were nothing for me, and I was never nervous for them. But this hip replacement is a different beast. I think the thing that bothers me most is they’ll actually be taking things out and replacing it with something artificial, and that’s just not a fun thought. And even though I’ve known for over twenty years I will eventually need one hip replaced, and probably the other replaced later, I never really gave it much thought. Even after I scheduled the surgery a few months ago it really didn’t hit me what was going to happen until a few weeks ago, and I freaked out. But even then, I was freaking about the recovery, and the potential of being somewhat miserable for weeks due to the restrictions (for six weeks I can’t bend over, move my hip more than 90 degrees, cross my legs [don’t care], have to sleep on my back(?) with a pillow between my legs), and the big ass (relatively speaking) around my ass/lower back). And because it’s my left leg I probably won’t be able to drive my Golf for those six weeks, and I put my Mercedes up on jack stands to avoid flat spots to the tires.

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The other thing that worries me is the apparent high likelihood of getting a fractured femur during the surgery. I knew that was one of the risks of the surgery because they do A LOT of hammering, and they’re not gentle. But I thought because I’m young and healthy and don’t have osteoarthritis the risks would be lower. But, for reasons unknown to me, it’s highly likely to occur according to my surgeon. He told me if it happens they would fix it intraoperatively (one of the advantages of the posterior approach), and he honestly did not seem worried (but not in a “it’s not my femur” type of way), so I didn’t think about it too much, until now...

As the day gets closer, I am also not thrilled about the idea of another surgery, and the stupid IV needle, and now the idea of an epidural. I also have never stayed the night in a hospital, so not thrilled about that. Also because I’m having this done at USC and not locally it’s going to be a much longer ride home afterward, as opposed to the ten-minute ride before when I have surgeries at home.

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But I’ trying to remain positive and hope it all works out and I’ll be able to walk again, and later ride my bike. I just want the pain to be gone, and in a few days, I’ll start that process. And the stupid six-month process just to get into the operating room will be done.