First, I heard your exhaust. I was confused because I didn’t see a sports car anywhere. But then, you kicked it down two gears and RIPPED IT through a yellow light at a ludicrous speed. The wild acceleration/soot at full throttle made me assume that you’re rocking some kind of crazy tune. MARRY ME!?

Yeah right. I’m a chump. But it does beg the question: If you were foolish enough to go looking for the elusive car girl... where would you start? I think it’s a total lost cause unless you get lucky. Talking to women at car shows is just as uncool as hitting on them at the gym IMO. Also, as we all know, most women at car meets are (unfortunately) there with a sig other and not actually into cars anyway. At this point, I’ve set my sights on a more realistic goal: find someone who has an all-consuming passion of their own, so she gets it. I REFUSE to be one of those sad middle aged men on car forums who has to “ask the wife” for permission to enjoy my hobby.