I havent been in the best of moods lately.. Heres an Fc for you.. an explanation of my life's issues, and cool fantasy builds after the jump..

So, i had a girl friend for the last nearly 2 years who just recently broke up with me.. and it sucks because its like my whole life has been based around her, and now i jusst really have nothing. All my friends are away in college and I just have nothing to do and no real aspiration to do anything.. Ive gone on quite a few aimless walks lately in new jersey, in the winter, just because im out of things to do.. and its times like this that i just really think about what i want from life, i fear college, yet must start applying soon, i know what i want to go for, but fear hating it, or not being able to work with cars with my degree (mechanical engineering) and i fear just not being happy in life..

I feel like such a hormonal teenager, and personally, i hate both hormonal people and teenagers (especially teenagers) Which makes it hard to make friends, as i feel as if no one around me is worth my time.. i have one friend who isnt yet in college, but just as i got out of a relationship, he got into one.. which kinda sucks because i get jealous of them when i see them.. not much mind you, because this is my best friend and im very happy for him..

I keep thinking about opening a shop, a specially kind of shop, one that strictly builds crazy high dollar cars like anything you'd find on speedhunters.com, like RWD Rotary Mini coopers, or drift pick up trucks.. and i would also love to restore and sell old cars, like triumphs, Mgs, Nissans, Toyotas, and mazdas, and perhaps combine the two branches.. ive spent what feels like my whole life at a shop, and i dont what one like that, doing motor swaps on Rx8s and clutches in Rx7s, i want something really special, that has a very rich clientele that will allow me to spend years on a project and pay me triple digits when i have it just right so that i am proud of a car ive poured my heart and soul into.

But how possible is that? could that exist.. I have a few of my personal ideas written down, i have a cisitalia 202gt

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With a replica body made from cf or aluminum

Tube frame

Mx5 drivetrain

2013 fiat 500 abarth motor

compititon yellow mica, rosso corsa, silverstone 2, Dakar Yellow 2, or marrone metallizzato

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panasports, ssr longchamps, or steelies

stock length

but up to 6 inches wider, all added to the area around the cockpit to give it a more muscular look

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A saab sonnett 2 with a triumph speed triple and a body much like this one

A blue train bentley

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Replica body by Bob petersen

Modern Bentley 12 cylinder

with 4wd

A full tube frame, with roll protection hidden away by leather and swede

And various ideas like that... including a 1968 Honda s1600 NSX

That consisted of a billet V8 designed off of 2 honda s800 motors mates together.

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The body would use some S800 bits like the grill and headlights, but with a Pininferina-esque design (think tipo 33 stradale) with flowing lines focused around the wheels with a bubble like cockpit located quite cab forward, and slightly squared off at the edges, with a similar chassis design to the s800 with added bracing

I have all these ideas and would love nothing more than to build them, and i wonder how i can ever do that

I also would just love to modify cars to my liking, just build a Fiat X1/9, with no particular goal in mind, just to have fun, but then sell it and buy a vw fastback and do the same thing.. theres just so many cars i want to own.. perhaps that can tie into the buisness.. hell, maybe that will start a buisness, making cars work better, my cars will attract customers..

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wow.. what the hell am i going on about?

This is my life now.. just cars on the computer.. and oppo.. i can just spend an hour babbling on about things people will never even read.. but i guess its good to vent..

I miss my girlfriend a lot.. and i grew dependent on the the female body like a drug hahaha

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but i just cant see myself dating anyone else right now, despite the part of me that wants to..

besides, no one around me is really worth my time.. not to sound like a dick (which i know i do) but teenage girls are pretty much all just awful haha..

/rant