If your Ford had a Matthew McConaughey, it would be a Lincoln

"New Top Gear"

May I suggest a brand new type of show, one not even produced by the BBC. Catering towards the same sort of audience, it would feature three guys, able to speak in coherent English, that, nevertheless, are quite young. Like 18-25 young, because, if we're honest, the TopGear presenters ceased being relevant a long time ago. It would build upon the TopGear format of an episode made out of extended car reviews featuring much carporn, a news segment featuring host's opinions, and a track, which shall be lapped in a manner that times can be posted onto a board. However, many things would change:

-The Star in a Reasonably Priced Car would be thrown out a window. Film stars have nothing to do with tearing about an airfield at an unreasonable pace. Instead, it would be replaced with some form of Gimmick Interview with well-known industry/culture figures such as Jay Leno, Ian Callum, Ulrich Benz, Jochen Mass, Pastor Maldonado, and the like. I'm not terribly sure what the Gimmick Interview would be. Perhaps it would involve something in the vein of "Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee" with the guest either bringing or being able to choose/commandeer from the local dealership their car of choice.

- the TopGear Test Track will be, of course, in an entirely different country, and no longer the track. Instead, it will be one of the Eastern Seaboard tracks that properly test both a car's power and its cornering ability, instead of the Top Gear test track's POWEEEEEEERturnPOWEEEERturnPOWEEEERturnmakejokeaboutGambonPOWERRRR.

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I humbly suggest Road Atlanta, as in the words of TopGear Magazine, it "slams you in the face like a hardcore edit of the Nurburgring." The hot lap scoreboard would also be viewable online and updated on the fly as new times were posted each episode.

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-the (Insert Holiday Here) specials would, depending on their tone, either be conducted in real classics or utter pieces of crap. As, frankly, that was the best part of the recent TopGear run, we won't fix what's broke. Just add more carporn to the really pretty locations.

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-Many of the car reviews, instead of focusing on ridiculous stuff like the Zenvo ST-1, would instead bring to light some of the used bargains. And not the civic-for-fifty-clams variety, the E46 M3 (aka the best sports car known to man)-for-two-grand variety. Think of it as an entire section devoted to our time-honored practice of NPoCP, possibly hosted by Torchinsky himself.

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-An equal proportion would be devoted to reviewing the classics, ranging from Maseratis to Miuras to Miatas, and everything in between.

However, since the vox populi demands everything new and shiny, I fear the balance will be 50-50 new-to-old at best, 75-25 new-to-old at worst.

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As you've probably figured out from the absurdly low age ranges for the presenters, I plan on being one. I've ran screentests with a dude I know who's into cars (a regular creeper of Oppositelock whom I keep nagging to get an account)doing a "News" segment, and it suprisingly wasn't rubbish. Just cut short by lack of camera battery. We've got a good dynamic, we just need a third presenter. Paging SlantSix drives a Purple Taco.

In fact, if anybody owns a decent camera in the Research Triangle area and/or interesting automobile, toss me a PM...

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(Pardon about the repost. Save as Draft turns out to post it publicly when you first saved it as a draft... o_o)

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