One advantage we plebes have in the Kinjaverse is that we can create whatever handle we like. Instead of John Doe and Jane Smith, we have colorful names like TheHondaBro, HammerheadFistpunch, Yamahog, and many others. Many of these names reflect an interest or personality trait of the owner.

What if the Jalopnik (and subblog) authors were to do this? What might their handles be? They’re listed below, so go ahead and come up with your best ideas in the comments.

Matt Hardigree

Patrick George

Michael Ballaban

Jason Torchinsky

Máté Petrány

Raphael Orlove

Aaron Brown

Doug Demuro

Chris Harris

Kat Callahan

Andrew Collins

Tyler Rogoway

Stef Schrader

Sean MacDonald

Alanis King

Nicole Conlan

Michael Roselli

Travis Okulski