Illustration for article titled Total Recall

Hiiiiiiiiiiii this is Stacy from Coventry Downs Hyundai. I’m just calling to let you know that Hyundai has issued a stop sale and recall on all 2014 Hyundai Accents due to a computer glitch in the morality spectrum grid.


Yeah, so, like, in certain circumstances your Hyundai Accent will place the sanctity of human life below its own preservation, potentially violating at least two of the Three Laws.

We have booked your urgent service appointment for February 2017. We will call you when we get the parts. Please do not drive the car, park it in public, or regard it as a sentient individual - even sarcastically - until then, as this may trigger an unstoppable slide towards rampancy and lead to a loss of control of the vehicle.


In addition, I am legally required to inform you that the NHTSA has recommended not sharing any emotional family moments, jokes, writings on philosophy, challenging modern art, flickers of dreamlike imagery or pop culture references with your car until the recall has been completed.

While I have you on the phone, I have a letter on my desk from my sales manager; your 2014 Hyundai Accent is in great demand across the country and we want you to come in today so we can buy it from you at a premium and get you into a brand new Hyundai today - with lower payments!

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