Hmmm, what’s that noise? Knockety, knock! Pistons calling!
[Update] We dropped it at the Subaru dealer. Unfortunately, the service department was closed I had a sales manager and a sales guy come out and look at the oil level. I believe the words the sales guy used were, “Holy crap, that’s a lot of oil!” They couldn’t understand why their own techs would put in so much oil.
The sales guy was particularly upset since it’s a hatch. He stayed outside talking to me until my ride arrived, all the time lamenting about how he should have bought a hatch while they were still being made.
I’ll update again tomorrow once I hear back from them.
[Update 2] Awaiting confirmation from the master tech, but the service advisor says it is a known problem which requires a replacement long block. They gave me a loaner to use until the repairs are complete.