Ladies and Jalops, thanks to your effort in 2015 Batshit Elimination and Final Rounds, I am proud to present you the winners of the 2015 Miss Jalopnik Batshit Babe Pageant.
Let me stop you right there, Steve.....
Whitney Marie Beall, Miss October
Miss Beall entered the pagaent back in October as Miss Twelve, and survived the elimination round by only receiving 6 of the 256 votes. If we all know know drunk driving is stupid, and we all know that admitting to it is crazy, what do you call live streaming it? I know... (raises hand) It’s called “Batshit crazy.”
We hope you don’t make this mistake again Whitney. Take care.
Whitney also won one of the special awards this year.
Iris Gibney, Miss January
Miss Gibney was the second contestant in the 2015 pageant, signing up back in late Dec 2014. Seeing that she is a cheerleading coach, works at Victoria Secret, sends nude photos, and likes to get busy in the backseat of a car, it’s no wonder she only received 8 of the 256 elimination votes.
Where’s the crazy part of her story? The poor, unfortunate victim she was caught having sex with was a 17 year old student from the school where she coached. That sick and disgusting to everyone sweetheart, especially for that poor, unfortunate victim - whom I understand had to go to physical therapy for his arm after all the high-fives he was subjected to.
I’m guessing she’s probably available, since her sentence was probation and community service. Possibly single now, too. Proceed with care.
Here she is…. Your winner, with 83% of the vote.... The winner by the largest margin in history - Miss Jalopnik BatshitBabe 2015!!
Shannon Csapilla, Miss July
Being a drunk, a vandal, a bad speller, and a crazy ex-girlfriend is no way to go through life. Her only hope is that her
penkeymanship was respectable.
The only thing worse than the grammar police, is the real police.
She was facing two counts of first-degree criminal mischief, but her plea and sentencing is unknown. I hope they they the book at her for keying cars and slashing tires. Never **** with someone’s ride.
Congrats Shannon, injoy yor crowen
Don’t forget to tune in to the Special Awards Ceremony, Wed, 2PM EST.