In addition to the 2015 Final Round Winners I would like to present the winners of this year’s special awards.
Miss November, Rachelle Fernandez is “Miss Best Mugshot.” Sometimes the best mugshot is the prettiest, sometimes it’s the most unique. This year it seems to be the most confident. Just look at her. She has just been arrested for interfering with a police persuit, and she couldn’t be prouder. Dale and Will approve of this.
Miss July, Shannon Csapilla is was voted as the contestant most of you would most likely hook up with consensually. She’s not a good breaker-upper, so tread lightly. or park in a distant lot. or take the bus. Uber. Anything.
Miss February, Jennifer Clouse is “Miss Most Crazy.” Why? When is being charged with three counts of attempted first-degree murder, seven counts of aggravated assault, possession of a firearm during the commission of a felony, felony evading arrest and felony reckless endangerment NOT crazy?
Miss October, Whitney Marie Beall is the contestant you would most likely bring home and introduce to your mother. It’s probably the fact that she’s cute, and that she knows how to use an iPhone. Mom always needs help with that.
Miss September, Tonnie Schaus is the one most of us are expecting to see again next year. I would have expected the woman busted with drugs with a gun in her hoo ha to be the contestant we would see again, but the votes don’t lie. Bitchy, drunk, in possession of drugs and an illegal U-Turn seem to be the gateway to a repeat performance. See you next year, Tonnie.
Miss January, Iris Gibney. According to the votes, she just seemed to be at the wrong place at the wrong time, which means that she probably isn’t batshit enough for our pageant but made an appearance anyways. Since these special awards are relative and open to interpretation, I’m assuming that some of you thought the right place would have been in your car with her clothes off, consensually.