Pro-tip for newlyweds or folks getting into your first truly serious relationship... When there is a Steven Seagal marathon on one channel and a Lord ‘o the Rings marathon on another and your significant other wants you to do chores - arguing isn’t going to work. He/she will just end up pissed off all freaking day and you won’t get to enjoy any of the movies. What you need to do is get hammered drunk. I don’t care if it’s 9 AM, get your ass to drinkin’. Your significant will be pissed as hell but will quickly realize there is no point in trying to get a drunk to do chores. From that point on you get to enjoy your movies in peace and quiet.

Just know that once you do sober up you’re going to have hell to pay.