5 Tips to Consider When Buying a Car

Illustration for article titled 5 Tips to Consider When Buying a Car

Numbers 1 - 5 will blow your mind!

1. Buy a Practice Car

Purchasing a car can be daunting, whether it be from a professional car sales-bully or some sketchy dude on Craigslist. Confidence arises from experience, so the more practice cars you buy, the better!


2. Avoid eating large quantities of greasy food

Heartburn sure sucks, doesn’t it? Before you enter a fierce negotiating battle, you need to make sure that your body is in tip-top physical condition. A debilitating onset of acute Gastroesophogeal Reflux Disease could present a major setback.


3. Share the loan with a friend

According to the University of Delaware, 47% of car buyers are lonely, forlorn shells of human beings. Studies insist that being a lonely, forlorn shell of a human being is bad for your overall health. One of the easiest ways to increase your daily interaction time with other people is to share an automobile with one!


4. Make lots of money

Why settle for some ordinary Toyota piece of crap when you could roll off the lot in a brand new Audi S8? If you want to get the most out of your car buying experience, you need to purchase an exquisite luxury car.


5. Sacrifice the virgin feline to the Eye of Horus

This one is pretty self explanatory. Just common sense, really.


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