Our beloved Doug, according to his Twatting feed, will be back from vacation tomorrow. For his homecoming, we should give him something special. Something unique. Something OPPO. Tell him what he should replace his Ferrari with. There are some rules, though.

NUMBER ONE: Nothing more than $100k. He's a writer, and writers are "poor".

NUMBER TWO: It must be at least two years old. None of that new car exotic crap.

NUMBER THREE: It must be the two generations immediately before the current generation of vehicle. He has a 360, the current generation is a 458. You get the damn drift.

NUMBER FOUR: The car must not be something that a plebeian would drive.

NUMBER FIVE: It must be sold at CARMAX (ETA).

Impress me with your logic, magical OppoLock! Go forth, begin your google searches, and defeat Doug's girlfriend by suggesting something better than a hovercraft!


The winner lives to see dawn.