We’ve all heard the story: “millennials are crushed with student loans and being lazy, so they still live at home with their parents, or they move back in.” It sucks, sometimes, but shouldn’t they be treated like adults and be allowed to come and go as they please, within reason?

I still live at home, and I’m in my late twenties. I don’t feel so bad about it because I’ve gotten my AA, took two years off then got my BA, then took another year off and now I’m in law school. I’m also very helpful around the house, and I’m the one that actually takes care of my mom’s car, and I even picked it out for her and made her buy it (hence why I always refer to it as “my Golf”). But I don’t pay any rent. Some parents might see that as a reason to impose limits to their adult child’s comings and going. My mom doesn’t. When I actually had friends (long story short: I dumped them because they were assholes), I was allowed to do what I wanted, when I wanted. I’d regularly go down to LA to go hang out with them, but I was a nice child and always told my mom where I was going, where I was, when I’d be home, etc. I never bad to ask permission, my mom has always treated me as an adult.

This is in contrast to a friend who always has to ask her mom for permission, and she’d regularly say no. She’s only a year younger than me. I would ask her what her mom’s deal was, and she said it was because she was a girl. I get wanting to protect your daughter, but if she’s responsible (she was), then allow to be an adult.

And now another friend, her parents actually made her have a curfew. I found that baffling (she’s since moved out and into an apartment with her boyfriend). The reasoning there, I guess, was that because she had teenager siblings her parents wanted her to set a good example while she was in the house. Or they thought their teenager daughter would want more freedom?

But I have four older siblings and when I was a teenager my older sisters were allowed to come and go as they please. I didn’t try to get away with more because I was a teenager and therefore wasn’t as mature as sisters.

What’s your guys’ take on adult children living at home? I ask the parents, and the adult children here living at home.