A Disco and a Fiat go offroading: Hilarity ensues

Nailed it.

Forgive me Oppo for I have done a stupid. It has been 11 days since my last confession of stupidity. Actually it wasn’t THAT bad. My friend bought a Renegade and wanted to take it out to the off-road park and see what it could do. He got a taste for off-roading/ overlanding during our overland road trip and clearly wanted more. (Hence why he bought the Jeep)

So I took the Disco and he took the Renegade. Overall, the trip went realty well. Weirdly, the off-road park in my area is mostly made out of the two things we didn’t encounter in our road trip: soft sand and mud. Both cars did really well. The Landy forded the sand much better than my OBS Yukon did, likely because the Landy is 1000 pounds lighter and has allegedly pretty good traction control.


The Renegade did fine too, Sand mode being apparently very odd. It did come over all Italian after being driven though some water, however. Apparently a wheel sensor got wet, disabling the Renegade’s complicated traction control, which wouldn’t be that bad if it didn’t mean that it also, apparently, disabled 4-Low. In fact, after that we weren’t certain any of the four-wheel-drive functions were working. Luckily, the sensor eventually dried out and everything returned to normal.

The Landy did have one problem, and it was the cocksure driver. Me.

So….. there was this old Cherokee on the big steep scary hill. I was like “oh cool! I sure don’t want to look like an anus in front of these people!” and immediately drove through a puddle and got stuck.


Ok, it was a big fucking puddle and the mud was exceptionally soft, but still. Sadly, on closer inspection if I had been going slightly faster I probably would have made it and the day would have been quite a bit different for the Renegade. But I wasn’t and I didn’t.

Unfortunately, the Landy’s front tow hook was covered by a décor panel and also 80% submerged. But hey, the Disco has like… three tow hooks in back! Just use those! Yeah no… long story short a mix of bad traction, malfunctioning 4WD/4LOW and it being 1000 pounds lighter than the Disco meant the Renegade had no luck.


I should add that, like the proper anus I am, I was still stuck in the Disco at this point. And by “stuck” I mean “really didn’t want to dive into a huge mud puddle unless I really had to.” Sadly, after the ‘Gade failed to pull me out, I decided to commit to wet socks and dive out the passenger door. The mud immediately engulfed my shoes, but I made my way to the front of the Disco and liberated the front tow hook. After that a small, uneventful tug got the Landy liberated.


However, that does mean that I was pulled free by…


No never mind. I will drink to forget.

We did drink to forget.

Luckily I did regain some dignity by monstering the big scary hill (which was, in fact, quite big and scary) of which I have no pictures. Once the Renegade’s 4Low started working again it also made it up the hill with little drama, but it did have to abort the first attempt when 4low wasn’t working.


Overall: Success!

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