If your Ford had a Matthew McConaughey, it would be a Lincoln

A few suggestions for future debates.

So, last night, I noticed a few problems with the debate. In particular, Christie and Trump seemed to have a contest going to see who could answer the fewest questions. (Christie answered his “biggest weakness” question by just insulting the Democratic candidates, and Trump explained that he would make Mexico pay for his wall by just doing it. No elaboration.) I’m sure there were a lot more incidents like this, just as I’m sure there were at the Democratic debates. And that’s why I propose this change: after the 60-second time limit is up, the candidate’s microphone cuts off. If they never answered the question, the sad trombone plays. If they keep whining about not having enough time, the podium squirts water at their face until they shut up. And if they’re just being a dick, the moderators can open a trap door below them.

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