woke up to my phone sounding like it got taken over by somekinda poltergheist with a metallic voice i wasnt awake enough to understand

still trying to swat at my phone to make it go away when the air raid sirens outside go off

well... fuck im awake now

motherfuckers could have told me my phone has a regional apocalypse warning they wanted to test.... would have switched it off before going to bed

(edit) oh of course.... now my phone asks me if i want to recieve emergency alerts *throws phone* no motherfucker let me die in peace

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*kicks over desk for good measure*