If your Ford had a Matthew McConaughey, it would be a Lincoln

Aggressive drunks are the worst.

Got back to my apartment building after dropping off my gf because we went for a night drive. Noticed a shirtless bro and two girls walking across the parking lot as I parked my car.

As I’m walking across the parking lot to my building drunk dude and the two drunk girls are kinda stumbling around being loud ahead of me.


 I tried to lag behind them but then they started trying to talk to me. I learned a long time ago to deal with drunk people and homeless people the same way, put my head down don’t make eye contact and ignore their existence entirely. So, I walked past them and into my building.

At which point I hear “HEY THANKS FOR HOLDING THE DOOR OPEN YOU DICK!” as yelled by one of the women. Which is then followed by the other chick and bro hollering at me... great. I ignore them and walk to the stairs.

I start up the stairs and the girl yells “are you drunk or just a douchebag?!”

Which I again ignored.

After which she yelled “oh I see, your boyfriend is waiting for you!” followed by a series of slurs.


(Because clearly me ignoring her drunk skanky ass calls for some homophobia)

I just kept moving because dudebro started sounding agitated and I really didn’t need to deal with an angry shirtless bro trying to be a shitty white knight at 1:00 am.


So... hopefully they were too drunk to remember which car is mine, and if not, luckily the building has security cameras. What a way to end an otherwise pleasant evening.


Callaway B2K Aerovette for your time.


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