Cell phones don’t hit people in the face. Poles do.

I’m actually just claiming all of these topics to make sure she doesn’t steal my ideas.

Cities are needlessly cluttered with steps that MAKE PEOPLE FALL DOWN.


Why do cities waste money putting giant pots in the way of roller bladers, making them get killed?

Sidewalks are clogged with dangerous bus stops. Killing people who wouldn’t have been killed by their cell phones.


Elevator doors are a threat to life and limb, and all they serve to do is keep people out of elevators. Ban them.


Water is a constant menace that has provided no benefit to mankind ever since it was invented.

Cell phones played no role in the deaths and injuries of these people, that the cell phone was present in their hands was a mere superficial coincidence. In fact, most of these inanimate objects ruining these people’s lives, are in practical terms, essentially the same as a car. [/sarcasm]