Hey oppo, I am posting something unrelated to the automotive world today. However, the problem may effect my ability to collect cars in my future; it's my lack of motivation of any kind whatsoever. This post is similar to a previous one, but not a duplicate of it. I'd appreciate any input.
Disclaimer: If you don't want to read crap about my life, don't go on. I don't want to look for personal advice, but none of my friends (or so far, the internet at large) are not of much help. The following paragraph will be somewhat rambling and disorganized with lots of statements in parentheses (you'll understand why), so bear with me.
I struggle is inherent laziness. This isn't caused by a lack of intelligence (in elementary school, I was always the nerdiest kid), or lack of lust to be successful. I simply can't place the root of the problem, which is problematic in and of itself. I can name the contributing factors (e.g. never having to work very hard academically, never attempting sports after a point, being cynical about society and what I am learning at school), but being able to identify why I am burdened, or liberated (I don't really know which way to look at it anymore) by such indolence has not helped. The only thing I enjoy doing is helping others in classes; I'm someone who I used to think of as annoying slackers who wallow in self-pity and are always asking, "What's the point?" Now, I, myself am asking the same question. Here's what prompted me to ask this: grades are going to be coming home, and I will once again face the fire that is my dad and my shame (which causes me to still take all of the most challenging courses with the most work), along with a ever-more relevant inner struggle between "screw everything" and my former self; my laziness soared to a whole new level when I was kind of feeling down last year. Because I used to be known as someone who gave a damn, I really will never be accepted as anything but that by most and I will be held to that standard. I simply no longer feel a need to leave my mark on the world in some way or another, nor do I even feel the need to even meet other people or be outgoing. Is a lack of motivation necessarily a derivation of being depressed or down on everything, or have I just had an epiphany due to my age-old interest in analyzing our cultural elements of competition, contribution, and reprimand of those who do not adhere to the two former rules (or am I just insane)? Have any of you had such a problem (and if so, how did you kick the habit)? Thanks to those who read, and again, I don't want to just go on about myself but rather solve this problem.
Thanks; here's a W124 wagon for your troubles.