So here it is, the post that no one asked for! The detailed history of my cars. you will slightly chuckle at certain points, you’ll think “what the fuck?” a lot, and you’ll probably say what an idiot/asshole/dumb ass a few times. I’d love to hear your individual automotive timelines too! In detail or in short. 

1996 Ford Explorer Eddie Bauer V6 in a maroon color- handed down - (not my actual vehicle pictured)

1997 Ford Explorer Eddie Bauer V6 in a dark blue color- handed down when my parents wanted to trade the 96 - (not my actual vehicle pictured)

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2002 Mazda Protege 5 in a bright red that may have a name- (not my actual vehicle pictured)

I traded the Blue explorer and some cash for it. The salesman jumped into the explorer after I traded it, floored it in revers and SMOKED one of the other cars in their lot right in front of me! Hilarious. This was totaled in a head on collision shortly after I graduated from high school. Everyone was ok.

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2002 Nissan Sentra SE-R Spec V in silver (not my actual vehicle pictured)

I hit the lottery with the insurance payout from the Mazda, got more than I paid for it! I really wanted a Cooper S, but they were brand new and going for at least sticker which was $10k more than I paid for this piece of poop. Honestly it was a cool car, and it got me though the first part of college. I had some overheating issues combined with one of the spark plugs being pinched shut. I had it to the dealer 3 times and they couldn’t figure out why it kept happening. So after they fixed it the last time I traded it in. (this issue was eventually a recall I believe. Something to do with an impeller breaking and ending up inside the engine...(Another Oppo told me about this)

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2005 Subaru Impreza WRX in silver

This was my first brand new car I completely financed it...Nothing down on the same day that my first dog had to be put down (The sweetest girl, a black lab named Blue). If I had a shithead kid phase (and I did) this car was 90% of it. I beat the hell out of it, smacked it up a month after I got it, and put on all of the typical, terrible boy racer mods on it. Tein lowering springs, black Rota wheels, AEM short ram intake, Apexi fart can catback, Turbo XS RFL blow off valve. To add insult to injury I felt the need to put the stickers from all of those parts in the typical toolbag places on the car. I’m well known around these parts for scoffing at shitty mods, so I’d like you all to know where I came from and that I’m a hypocrite. I put nearly 50k miles on this car in 18 months and rolled the (underwater) loan into the next car...

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I know...IDIOT

2004 Subaru Impreza WRX STi in silver

I bought this one very slightly used (just under 6k miles) I didn’t mod it because I didn’t need to. This car was (still is?) faster than fuck. Way too much juice for a young man or at least this young man. To make matters worse, a month after I bought mine my best friend bought one. The following was one of mayhem that culminated with my 3rd speeding ticket and my buddy crashing into a tree (the tree went all the way up to the scoop and the engine was nearly in the front seat) car totaled, friend ok. I would have this car 4 more months and get two more tickets before I hit a deer late one night. The insurance shop did a terrible job with the repair I actually had to have them re repair/paint it or the dealer where I was trading it in was going to hack $2k off of the trade in price. Needless to say the WRX and STi era of Tripper was a tough time/low point/dark place in my life.

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2002 BMW M3 in Phoenix Yellow

I was eight thousand dollars under water on the loan for the STi. I was sitting up late one night hashing out the financials with my father. He said, “son I’ve gotta tell you that this is a stupid purchase financially. You’ve got to stop the train of keeping a car for a year or so and then rolling the loan into the next one.” I agreed with him saying that I felt like I’d keep this one as it was my first dream car, color and all. He said, “stupid as it may be this is a hell of a car for anyone let alone a 22 year old kid, you’ve just been promoted at work and you’ll probably figure it out if you really want it. Even if you fuck it up you’ve got plenty of time to learn and recover from a purchase like this”. So I did it. I financed 8k over the price of the car for a used M3 at the ripe old age of 22 (back in 07 you could still borrow money like that haha)You already know the rest, this conversation happened just short of 12 years ago and I still have that car. Both of my parents always say “it’s like you grew up overnight after you bought that car.”

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After about a year of owning it Circuit City (my employer) announced that it would be closing it’s doors... I went 9 months being un-employed with an $800+ car payment in addition to rent etc...I remember having sleep for dinner a few nights during that time, haha. I did everything I could to make the payments. There were a few weeks where I walked around different office complexes offering my IT services for the day for $100. I built a nice little side hustle during that time that I continue today. For these reasons and more this car is near and dear to my heart.

1996 Ford Explorer Limited V8 AWD in a tealish color (not my actual vehicle pictured)

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I bought this as a beater/work vehicle to keep miles off the M3 and not look like a snob showing up at clients houses. I had it for a year or so and needed to replace a wheel bearing. Instead of fixing it I sold it for $400 because I needed some quick cash for a snowboarding trip.

1987 Ford Ranger

My first car with a name “Tan Stan”. I bought him for $1200 and had it for around 3 months until white smoke started pouring out the back. I wanted to get it fixed but couldn’t find anyone who wanted to do the work! Every shop kept saying it’s not worth it time to get a new car. “I just got the thing man!”. My wife (girlfriend at the time) and I loved the thing. It was such bouncy fun.

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2013 VW Jetta 2pointslow in Tornado red (not my actual vehicle pictured) 

If there was a car that I truly hated this was it. It wasn’t even a bad car, but it represents a tough time in many of my social relationships. I only bought it to drive a ridiculous commute to a job that I hated. I was so angry at one point I booted in the passenger door! I ditched that shit job for a much better and closer opportunity. A week into my new job I ditched the car too. The Jetta was brand new when I bought it. I put 18k miles on it in 10 months and traded it in. The mileage combined with putting my foot into the passenger door had me taking a bath on the trade, but I traded it on something really neat!

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2008 BMW M3 Sedan in Jerez Black

Let me start off by saying these cars are the bees knees! No matter your gender this car will make “it” move. It sounds incredible, the steering is laser accurate, it’s beautiful and you can fit all your people and things in it. I was the third owner at 53000 miles (MISTAKE). Fun as it was this car broke me financially. It made me grow to hate it. Toward the end I was just driving it around like any old 3 series waiting for the next thing to go wrong. I owned it 18 months and it beat me for more than 5 grand not including repairs covered under warranty and the $15 quart of oil it ate every two fillups. I decided I wanted something I didn’t have to worry about so I bought an automatic Audi:)

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2016 Audi S3 in Sepang Blue

This car is well documented here, so I’ll keep this one short. I bought it brand new and absolutely loved it. Easily as quick as the E90, fantastic on gas, and a ton of fun to drive in any weather. My apologies for the cliche... I loved it, but wasn’t in love with it. My friends called the car “Video Games” because that’s what it’s like to drive. It’s so easy to drive this car fast that it takes away from the experience. I wasn’t really in the market to sell it but I wasn’t planning on keeping it forever. A younger colleague got a big promotion and wanted to buy it from me. His offer was fair, so I sold it. I meant to hold the money for as long as it took to find the perfect 911, 2002, E39, or a couple of other cars on the shortlist.

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2001 Ford Ranger in Vermilion Red

“Red Ted” he’s called. I bought him because I wanted/needed a pickup in tandem with the Audi. Just like “Tan Stan” I fuckin’ love the thing. Such an honest cheap little truck (event though he wasn’t cheap to get). I have put a ton of work into the truck. I insulated the entire interior (still have the roof to do). Installed a full modern stereo with bluetooth, dash cam, backup cam, better interior lighting, under hood lighting, power locks, power mirrors, keyless entry, remote starter, and a handsome wood console. Recently I fitted a set of Bilstein shocks and 31" BFG K02s. I plasti dipped the grill and wiper arms which came out great. I’ve got wood armrests to match the console in the works. I love working on it and I love driving it, call me crazy.

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Everyone has seen enough of the 1502 and it’s not in my driveway yet, but my love for the Ranger and the impromptu sale of the Audi are what put me in a position to get it and I’m thankful for that. To quote another cliche “luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity” and each time I’ve ended up with a truly cool car it has been in this fashion.