As there are several new people to Oppositelock and the rest of the Kinjaverse, there may be some confusion over what is going on around here these next few days. I, your Arch Duke Maxyenko, The First of Oppositelock, have written this friendly explanation to help you learn more about what's happening.

First of all, some royal douchebags have decided to fuck things up for everyone, hence the lack of images in the comments. There has also been a wave of spambots which are annoying as itchy balls on a hot, humid, mid-August day. So, in order to combat these existential threat, the overlords of Kinja have decided to roll back the clock to the pre-Tiger days, (Tiger is the current Kinja format, if you were unaware). We will still have all of the dysfunctional functions of Tiger, but there will be one massive change. One change to rule them all. The Grey.

The Grey is the fog of Kinja. Much like my days in 'Nam, the fog conceals all of the unknown. In the fog of Kinja lurks potential friends and foes alike. There might also be landmines of porn gifs, rape gifs, murder gifs, and spambots. There are ways of being freed of the grey shackles that might bind you to the shit pile.

These ways are as follows:

-Be a Moderator.

-Be an Author.

-Bribe the Moderators.

-Be a L337 Haxor.

-Be a Level 10 Black Mage.

-Be a Level 30 Conquistador.

-Be a Level 2 Harlot.

-Be a Level 20 Knight.

-Be a Level 99 Grand Wizard.

-Be a Columbian Drug Lord.

-Be a Time Lord.

If you are none of these things, that sucks to be you. But, don't fret you can always level up by finding a +1UP, buying a 7Up Mustang, or just grinding your way through the comment forest concealed in the fog.


However, there are also ways of being banished back into The Grey.

These ways are as follows:

-Be a Dick.

-Catch a Moderator in a bad mood.

-Pull a VS and earn the wrath of the great and powerful Hardibird.

-Poach deer in the kings forest.

-Fail to understand a Monty Python reference.

-Question a Moderator's ATHORITIE!

-Attempt to be smarmy to members of Oppositelock and other Gawker Media outlets.

-Drink the Brefast Scotch that you didn't buy.

-Take a shit during a party and not flush.



-Sharing things that do not need to be shared.

But be warned, there are fates worse than being banished to The Grey. I will not go over them here as we shouldn't need to.


Any questions?