An Honest Question (in 2 parts)

Sunchaser Toby buffer


This #metoo thing hit home, because I work in a bad profession for this sort of thing.


I was a partner in a large law firm where one particular department had a problem with partners harassing women. One woman switched departments and ended up working for me, and I found out. I demanded a third party investigation, and was told to get fucked. She quit, and I left soon thereafter, on part because I did not want to be a part of that business culture. I started my own firm so that shit would not happen under my name.

I messaged my former employee privately after I saw her #metoo post on Facebook. It hurt my heart because I should have done more. I sent this:

“Hey, I saw your #metoo post. I am sorry for what happened to you at [REDACTED]. I tried to get them to investigate [PIG #1] but [PIG #2] refused. One of the reasons I left is that I could not tolerate having partners who abused associates. The law is a terrible industry in its treatment of women.”

I regret sending this. It feel hollow, and designed to assuage my guilt for a person I failed to protect.

Scenario #2:

My son is in the marching band at a large high school. My wife volunteers, and I make donations (because I am a misanthrope). I found out through them that there is a 19 year old man volunteering for the band (he is an alum) who is in a dating relationship with a 15 year old girl in the band, and whose mother is president of the band boosters. According to my son the 19 year old and his 15 year old girlfriend sneak off frequently to “make out.” I reported this to the principal. My parent compass says adults involved in school activities should not date the kids.


Did I do right or wrong?

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