Illustration for article titled And Now, An Important Message From Toyota Global President, Akio Toyoda

You people and your fucking crossovers. No sedans, no compacts, no sports cars, nothing. Just crossovers. Crossovers! Goddamn all of you.


Do you understand the struggle? Do you see what I’ve had to do? The Camry once upon a time used to be the lower middle manager’s luxury car. For those who’ve tasted the rice cracker that is the Corolla but now want something a little more. Before, it was just a bit better than basic transportation, as god intended. Now it can cost fourty-thousand-fuckin’ dollars! Look what we’ve had to do to keep those sales number up. Its an R33 aged fourty years with two divorces and three children under it’s belt! If this keeps up, we’ll have to add a manual on top of 300 hp and AWD. Is that what you want? Hmm? Of course it is, you sick bastards... 

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