Full disclosure: this piece is a result of my planning course wanting me to present either college applications, or a plan for the next few years. As I must get two schools to communicate with each other to send off transcripts, I do not yet have any complete applications. I didn’t really have a detailed plan either, so I ended up trailing off into existential blithering which ended up being far more coherent that I initially thought.

The plan is simple. Apply to college in Ontario, and move back there. Even if I don’t get into a journalism program in Ontario, I’m still moving. Was plan A journalism college, or was there even a plan A at all? Yes, although it was always existential. Plan A was to follow a course of happiness. If basing your life off of a feeling sounds absurd, maybe you should stop reading.

Maybe you are what Thom Yorke referred to in 1997 as “a pig in a cage on antibiotics,” although I am not at liberty to say. Chances are that you based your life path off of societal expectations and established paths. Chances are that your life path has eventually made you want to be happier. I want to bypass those later feeling of unfulfillment altogether, as a soul is a terrible thing to waste. Do we all have wood and nails, and churn out hate in factories? I’d like to think not, but I’m not so sure anymore.

The world taught me that other people have expectations, and while is may be true, who says I have to live up to all of them? Who dictates the people I must let in? Clearly someone has, for I have gradually built up walls with worn down tools. But it is now for that person to bow out, lest they overstay their welcome. These walls that I have built have helped provide warmth and dryness from the turbulent seas outside. As uncertainty is certain, I shall covet these walls, while still not allowing them to hold me down. However, I am done building the walls from scrap, and I am ready to decorate. Cover up the ashed wood and rusted panels. For there is no longer time for malaise, as it is long past sowing season and the bulbs are beginning to bloom.

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The plan is a map. There are no directions, and no fixed plans. Or is the plan a destination? Truth be told, even the word “plan” is generous, as it carries symbols of certainty. The average human in Canada has a lifespan of 29,565 days and lifetime earnings of over a million dollars. With that as perspective, being a day late and a dollar short isn’t the end of the world. So maybe there isn’t really a plan. Maybe it’s more like a few rough goals and a lot of thinking on my feet. And that’s okay because at the end of the day, you will fade. This course will fade, and I will eventually forget all about it. Because you could have all the money and fame in the world, and you still couldn’t take it with you.

Your life is a series of experiences, thus there is no time to remember the mundane, and little time to do the mundane. My goal is to make my ordinary be extraordinary, as then life would never feel like work. To recall a less famous quote from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, “the question isn’t ‘what are we going to do,’ the question is ‘what aren’t we going to do?’”