For those of you that haven’t seen the Twilight series, don’t! I’ll summarize it for you.

A coven of emo vampires, a pack of Native American werewolves and a single white girl all go to the same high school and make up one big taboo love triangle.

The single white female, Bella, gets pregnant by a classmate, Edward, who guessed it! A vampire. Bella later becomes a vampire. No, not because intercourse. I forget why but she'll die if Edward doesn’t change her so he bites her, slowly. It's a very romantic death.

Bella, who is now a vampire, has her baby. Jacob, a werewolf who also loves Bella, becomes imprinted on her newborn baby. Which means he either has to watch it or marry it - not real sure about this part.

Most of the film is topless 17 year-old boys in awkward romance scenes. I just saved you. You're welcome.


The first movie in the series, Twilight, we see Edward, the glitteriest vampire of the group, driving a new Electric Silver Volvo C30. Volvos continue to pop up in the series reminding us that vampires, humans with no pulse, buy Volvos.

The movie debuted in November of 2008 and sales of the C30 spiked 12%; from 285 in November to 319 the following month.

This bump in sales was due in large part to the C30’s appearance in the movie.

No. Not really.

I must admit, from the moment I saw Edward standing next to that C30, I haven’t been able to separate the two: Volvos and Vampires. That association is forever seared into my brain.


I had a friend ask me once why vampires are associated with Volvo and I did my best to explain it (you're welcome Volvo).

OK. So vampires may not singlehandedly be responsible for the decline in Volvo’s US sales, but I'm sure they've played their part.


Rather than teen erotica, Volvo’s decline is likely the result of a dismal US economy, a poor parental (Ford) relationship and having to work with little new product (Come on, Geely). Also, the singular historic marketing message of safety, albeit important, needs to evolve.

Volvo has become the JCPenney of automotive: too rich for the poor, not expensive enough for the rich.

I made the graph above to show how far the brand has fallen from its peak.

As for the cats, well – I love kittens. America loves kittens. The Internet invented kittens.