Yesterday I took the family out to a lovely lunch in Malibu. The restaurant has 4 parking spaces that are tandem 2x2. The first one had a courteous Prius that pulled all the way up to the 1st spot. The adjacent space was occupied by a bling/murdered-out combo Range Rover that took both spots so as no one could park behind him/her. The Range Rover is not relevant to the story; I just merely wanted to include an "asshat parking" subplot.

Seeing that I only had one choice for parking, I pulled up behind the Prius and left enough space for it to "reverse parallel park" it's way out just in case the Range Rover decided to vacate the place before we were finished dining. We also dined on the patio right in front of the Prius so I can jump into action and move my vehicle as soon as I could identify the Prius owner.

As we are dining, I noticed a slightly confused man looking for someone while fidgeting his White Kanye Shutter Blind Glasses. So I asked the gentleman, "Are you the driver of the Prius?" He looked in my direction and struggled to look between the slats. After he focused on me, he looked even more confused as he began to comprehend the heinous question I asked him. Clears throat, "I am the Roll Royce."

- True Story.