My girlfriend and I have been working together today. Never again.

Pulling a heavy trailer up a bank, the Defender was sitting quite happily in second and pulling well. She gets to the top of the bank with no explosions, small electrical fires or leaks of any sort, so I pat the dash and say, 'Good girl, good girl'.

From the passenger side I hear, 'It's not real, ya know. It's not a she.'

Rocked. To my very core. My mouth actually opens.

I turn to face her and she's sitting like this:

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At least she knows when she's overstepped the mark. Next Land Rover update: Ejector seat. With a parachute, because I really quite like her.