Illustration for article titled As you may or may not know, I was elected president of oppo tonight.

First of all, I’d like to thank you all for electing me, I literally could not have done it without you. Secondly, I’d like to squash any rumors of corruption or chicanery, as I am an honest politician, having learned politics from binge watching Boardwalk Empire. We have entered a new era, and under my leadership we are going great places! Anyway, thank you for electing me and God bless Oppomerica!

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