We thought that the “Killer Ford” virus had been eradicated from earth in the 80s but a recent anti-vaxxer, pro-vaper trend in the US (amongst C&C communities) has put Fords back at risk of catching this deadly virus.

The virus causes a mutation of the peacocking gene found in common Fords meant to attract so-called “babes”. Normally this gene only makes the driver stick to 1st gear until 5000rpm and try to race every mildly-sporty car they see.

Rather than those, mostly, safe idiotic acts, the mutated gene makes the AC throw “lil dic” pheromones into the cabin, disables traction control and locks up the rear end. Very dangerous for both the patient and the people around them.

Normally I wouldn’t care, because it normally sticks to Ford Mustangs in the US, but yesterday a case of “Killer Ford” occurred in Mexico City, when an F150, intentionally, tried to run over a cyclist... in reverse. Instead they crashed into two parked cars and injured 5 people! None of which were the original cyclist this psychopath was after.

Thankfully, the driver was caught, and arrested. 

Stay safe.